Being Wrong
copyright plbandymd 2022
To Err Is Human
So the saying goes. But wisdom handed down through the ages has taught us otherwise: To err is unacceptable, embarrassing, dangerous, humiliating, costly.
Mixed messages if you ask me. One insists that to err is in our DNA. The other demands perfection. More times than not, we take the latter to heart--whatever the cost.
We dig in, deny, deflect, explain, excuse. Anything to avoid eating our words or losing face. We'd rather disappear or crawl into a cave and die than suffer the shame of making a mistake, failing, falling down or being wrong.
Undoubtedely, our inability to admit errors and wrongdoing has been one of the greatest sources of grief in the world, stress in our relationships and tension within ourselves. In her book, Being Wrong. Adventures in the Margin of Error, Kathryn Schulz notes,
"from conflict over crumb cake to conflict in the Middle East—a staggering amount of it [strife] arises from the clash of mutually incompatible, entirely unshakeable feelings of rightness."
More importantly, the obsession with being right, coupled with a deep-seated aversion to being wrong, prevents us from seeking alternate perspectives, examining our sense of certainty, correcting faulty patterns, mending relationships, being compassionate towards others and ourselves, and, ultimately, becoming the best version of ourselves.
"As a culture, we haven't even mastered the basic skill of saying "I was wrong." This is a startling deficiency, given the simplicity of the phrase, the ubiquity of error, and the tremendous public service that acknowledging it can provide."
Without question, errors can lead to real consequences--losing a fortune, taking a life, compromising a friendship, breaching a trust or causing irreparable harm. In these instances, we should indeed do everything within our power to be right and avoid being wrong as best possible.
That said, being wrong, both in minor blunders and major disasters, offers an invaluable opportunity to examine and reflect on our mistakes and ourselves.
If anything, being wrong is a mentor if we can put our egos aside. In science, it's the bedrock of progress. In high-risk occupations, it's a benchmark of protocols and guidelines seeking to reduce risk and harm. In ourselves, it's an opportunity for growth--to be better, do better.
If we can approach our short-comings with honesty and a mindset of curiosity and a willingness to learn, amend, improve, and grow, we might just get it right.
Reference: Schulz, Kathryn. Being Wrong. Adventures in the Margin of Error. Ecco, an imprint of Harper Collins. New York. 2010.